Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Jed's First Entry (Please Read)

Over the past few weeks of the married life, I feel that I've had the opportunity to experience many new and exciting things, but lets start with our week in Lake Tahoe. There were many things you'd think that I'd take away from that, whether it be my first trip on a plane (yes, it IS possible to be twenty eight years old AND a plane rookie), my first almost trip to Alcatraz or my honeymoon in Lake Tahoe with my beautiful wife. You'd think that these would be the most memorable things that I would take away from the week. However, although this might not come as much of a shock to those who know me, one particular memory stands out from all the rest. Was it being chased by a bear? Run down by vicious elk? Intimately assaulted by an angry pant climbing chipmunk? Although all these things would have made for some great stories, this story involves what to bring (or not to bring) on your honeymoon.

One would assume that California would have radio stations that were readily accesible. However, in the mountains, the radio reception was poor at best, leaving us to ride in silence or static. Fortunately, our state of the art Nissan Rogue came with a CD player. Unfortunately, the only CD to insert in that state of the art machine was the latest from everyone's favorite teenagers (15 years later), the infamous Hanson brothers, who most of you remember as these awkward looking studs:

Although you may find it hard to believe, they're still around, and have used up all of that "MMM-Bop" cash to create their own record label, and, believe it or not have married and reproduced, bring us to these fine fellows:

Dashing, I know. But what's even more amazing is when your lovely wife produces "Shout it Out" from her burlap sack, which usually contains gum, candy and quarters for vending machines. This time, however, out came this little gem.

Right from the start, I knew this was going to be great. And by great, I mean I knew it was going to be a long drive to San Francisco. Really, really long. I was a little shocked that the music was not nearly as terrible as I thought it would be. In fact, some of the songs were kind of catchy. However, it was nearly impossible for me to get past the most generic lyrics that I've ever heard on anything other than a Michael W Smith CD. Whether it be the fact that I didn't need a Cadillac because they'd be waiting there with their bare back to "carry me there" or their generic inability to take on "these walls" as the sky falls around them, I, for one, am begging my wife to reach into that magical burlap bag and dig around for anything. I'll be honest, at this point I'd have been relieved if she'd pulled out SonSeed's greatest hits or if Michael W Smith had mystically teleported into the backseat and treated us to an acoustic performance of "Place in this World". I mean, it wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't had the majority of the lyrics ingrained on my brain forever. And we hadn't even got to them kindly telling us that we were, in fact, "Just another Voice in the Chorus". I will say, that these generic lyrics and pretty average hooks, did, in fact, help me to further embrace my midwestern sense of generic mediocrity. So, I guess I kind of liked it after awhile. Which either means that A)it wasn't as bad as I thought at first, or B)I really love my wife and never grow tired of her belting out the beautiful rhythms of "Kiss Me When You Come Home."

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